


When You Are Young They Assume You Know Nothing

by Havearosieday



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, High School AU, damie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28021479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Havearosieday/pseuds/Havearosieday
Summary: Dani Clayton is a junior in high school and seems to have the perfect life. A long-term boyfriend, a best friend, good grades, and a bright future. Everything seems perfectly in place and yet something feels off. When a mysterious and brooding young Brit moves in with her aunt next door, Dani’s life is turned upside down when she must face all the feelings she’s been avoiding.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter One

Dani Clayton had a perfectly good life, objectively speaking. She was a junior in high school and had a doting boyfriend, Eddie, who had been her best friend since she was eight. She had another best friend, Rebecca, who she did almost everything with. She was popular, well-liked, and did well in school. This crossed her mind often, as she walked down the hallway at school or through the center of town, and people often waved at her and smiled. They think my life is perfect, Dani always thought. But if that were true, why did she always feel like something was missing?

It was a typical Saturday afternoon for Dani. She was sitting at the kitchen table, books and notebook paper spread across it in an organized manner that only Dani could understand. She always got her homework done by Saturday afternoon so that she had the rest of the weekend to spend with Eddie, Rebecca, and (to Dani’s dismay) Peter, who was Rebecca’s new boyfriend. 

There was a noise outside of the large kitchen window that looked out on the neighbor’s driveway. A door slammed and Dani heard the voice of a younger boy. “Wow, this house is SO big!” The voice yelled. 

Dani’s eyebrow raised in confusion. Her next door neighbors, Mr. and Mrs.Taylor, were a middle-aged British couple who had no kids and no family that Dani had ever known of. She had never seen kids at their house, not even on Halloween when they turned off all their lights and locked their doors. 

Procrastination and curiosity got the best of Dani and she opened the blinds. Peering outside, she saw Mr. and Mrs. Taylor walking towards the front porch, each with a suitcase in hand. In the front yard, still gawking at the house and jumping up and down in excitement was a boy, probably about 11, Dani guessed. His brown curls bounced up and down and he pumped one fist into the air. Dani’s gaze made its way to the Taylor’s car which was parked in the driveway. There was a teenage girl, about the same age as Dani, leaning against the trunk of the car with her arms crossed. Her expression was the exact opposite as the boy in the yard. If anything, Dani thought the girl looked like she was going to throw up. 

Dani had no idea who these kids were, she had never seen them before in her life. By the suitcases and the little boy’s excitement, Dani guessed this was their first time visiting the Taylor’s. 

Just then, Dani’s mom, Karen, walked into the kitchen, a lit cigarette between her fingers. She didn’t even acknowledge Dani’s presence, or the fact that her daughter was staring out the window, just made her way to the refrigerator and opened the door. 

“Mom,” Dani said, “do you know who these kids are at the Taylor’s house?” Dani knew if anyone would know, it would be her mom. Karen thrived off of drama. 

Karen looked over from the refrigerator, surprised to see her daughter had been in the same room all along. She smirked and Dani saw a twinkle in her mother’s eye, the one she always had before spilling good gossip. “Oh yea, they’re Mrs. Taylor’s niece and nephew from across the pond. Came here to stay with her. Their dad’s a bit useless, I heard, didn’t know what to do with them anymore. Couldn’t handle them apparently. Or maybe didn’t want to.”

“Oh,” Dani said, looking back out the window where the girl and her brother were now heading into the house. “That must be hard for them. To move so far from home, I mean.”

“I want you to stay away from that girl, okay? I heard from Doris that she was kicked out of her old school over there, almost sent to juvie. She seems like bad news.” 

“That’s probably just gossip, mom,” Dani said. She didn’t want this poor girl to have a bad reputation before she even had a chance to make her own impression. The suburbs were a notoriously gossipy and judgmental place. 

“Doubt it,” Karen said as she poured herself a glass of white wine. “There’s a reason Mrs. Taylor never sees her family. I doubt it’s because they’re perfectly normal.” With that, she gave Dani a little shrug and took a drag of her cigarette before leaving the kitchen. 

Dani returned to the kitchen table, where she had almost finished her weekend’s worth of homework. What should have taken her twenty more minutes took almost an hour, as she found herself lost in thought about the girl next door. Something about the image of her standing against the car, looking up at the new house as though her entire life was out of control. Dani knew that feeling well, she felt so little control over her life most of the time. Her future had been planned for her since she was ten. Finish high school, go to college, marry Eddie, become a teacher, have babies. It was a perfectly good plan, Dani supposed, but she was never entirely sure if it’s what she wanted or what everyone else wanted of her. 

Once her homework was finished, she cleared up the kitchen counter and headed upstairs to her bedroom. Eddie was coming over in an hour to pick her up for dinner, they were going on a double date with Rebecca and Peter and then to see a movie. She hopped in the shower, feeling relief as the warm water ran down her back, causing her muscles to relax. She had always carried stress in her shoulders. Eddie was always affectionately telling her to “loosen up”. 

After her shower, Dani dried off and changed into her favorite pair of bell bottom blue jeans and tucked in a pink turtleneck sweater. She dried her blonde hair, which fell midway down her back and added a small amount of blush and mascara.

Dani walked down the stairs, looking for her mom to tell her what her plans were for the night. Karen was nowhere to be found, but instead there was a note on the counter. Went to dinner with Denise, be home later. There was a ten dollar bill under the note. Dani put the bill into her wallet and checked her watch. Eddie would be picking her up any minute. 

It was a crisp fall evening, and Dani breathed in the smell of it as she stepped outside the front door. The sun was setting, as it did earlier and earlier this time of year. She looked down the street and saw no sign of Eddie’s car. She did, however, see a girl leaning against the corner of her neighbor’s house. She had a lit cigarette in her mouth and she was looking right at Dani, her eyes full of intrigue. 

It was her new neighbor, the Taylor's niece. Dani didn’t like to be rude, so she decided to go and introduce herself. It might be nice for the girl to know at least one person before she starts school. 

“Hi,” Dani said awkwardly as she made her way over to the girl. The girl kept her eyes on Dani the entire time. It sent a shiver down Dani’s spine in a way she couldn’t quite understand. “I’m Dani. I live next door.”

“Jamie,” she said. She took another puff of her cigarette, still not taking her eyes off Dani. Normally, this level of eye contact would make Dani squirm in her skin, but Jamie was different. Dani could see a lot in Jamie’s eyes. This girl had been through more than Dani could probably even understand. 

“You’re new here right? Moved in with your aunt and uncle?”

“Just come to live the American dream,” Jamie said. Dani chuckled and Jamie gave a slight smirk. 

“Well, what do you think so far? Has your life changed?”

“Don’t expect I’ll be grilling any hot dogs anytime soon, if that’s what you mean.” 

Just then Dani noticed Eddie’s car pulling into her driveway. He parked the car and hopped out when he saw Dani at the next house over.

“Are you starting at Atherton High?” Dani asked.

“Monday.”

Eddie caught up to her and wrapped an arm behind her neck. “Hey babe,” he said. “Who’s your new friend?” Dani looked up at Jamie, whose slight smile had turned to something like stone. Dani looked away, something burning inside of her. 

“This, this is Jamie. She’s, uh, she just moved in next door with her aunt. She’s going to start school with us on Monday.”

“Nice,” Eddie said. “Suppose we will see you there.” He turned to Dani. “We’re going to have to leave now to make dinner.”

“Okay.” She stole a look back at Jamie, who was blowing a puff of smoke up at the sky. Her eyes now anywhere but on Dani. “I’ll, um, see you around then. It’s nice to meet you, Jamie.”

“And you,” she said, nodding at the both of them. Eddie used his arm to turn the two of them around and towards his car. 

“She seems sweet,” Eddie said sarcastically when they were in the car. 

You would be like that too, if you had been ripped from your family and friends and flown across the world to start over, Dani wanted to say.

She wanted to defend Jamie, who’s eyes had been brighter, face looser before Eddie arrived. She had been funny, had already made Dani laugh. Dani suspected that Jamie wasn’t the kind of person who showed that side to just anyone she met. It made Dani feel warm that Jamie was showing her trust, right from the start. She was already looking forward to seeing her again.  
———  
Jamie didn’t know how she ended up here. How did she find herself getting out of a car parked in the driveway in the suburbs of Ohio? It was the last place on earth she thought she would ever be, yet here she was. No one cared about her opinion, or what she wanted. No one cared that she was seventeen, only ten months away from being considered an adult. She had broken the rules, she had gotten into trouble, and now she was paying the consequences. 

Nice time for you to start being a dad, she had thought to herself. It wasn’t as though her father had paid her any mind unless he was digging her out of trouble. And it just so happened that her aunt, her only family in the world, lived in America. In the suburbs, no less, in a nice quiet house on a nice quiet street. 

“It’s this or you end up locked away, the rate you’re goin’,” her dad had said. She couldn’t quite rebuke that because the truth of the matter was he was probably right. But that didn’t mean she liked it. 

Her dad, as clueless and distant as he was, had genuinely tried. He kept a roof over their heads and food on the table. He wasn’t one for being present or emotionally supportive, as he could usually be found far below the earth or in a bar, trying to forget his life had turned out the way it had. Jamie was technically still a child, still in the time where she was allowed to blame her parents bad parenting for her mistakes. But Jamie knew better, she had never had a true parent since her mom walked out that door when she was eight years old. 

Her little brother, Mikey, had been excited for the new adventure. He was still young enough to be full of hope and naïveté that America was the land of possibility. Jamie knew it was a bigger, busier, louder version of England. Still, she had never been on a plane before. Never been farther away than London. That part was exciting at least. 

So Jamie found herself staring up at the two story brick house in front of her, her arms across her chest. It was certainly going to be the largest house she had ever lived in. 

She had met her aunt and uncle all of two times that she could remember. They had come once after her mom had left and stayed two weeks to make sure the house and children were in some kind of order for her father to handle. They had also come when Jamie was eleven and her grandfather finally passed away after a decade long battle with lung cancer. They were nice people, Jamie had thought. Her aunt had bought her her first tomato plant and taught her how to grow it in the outside garden. 

“It’s always cheaper to grow your own food,” she had said. 

Jamie was going to miss her garden, the one she had so carefully grown in the back of her father’s house. She knew it was going to be long dead by the time she got home. Her father had promised to water it while she was gone, but he had barely remembered to cook for his children so her hopes were not high. 

She knew nothing else about her aunt and uncle, other than that they had never had kids, nor wanted them she was told. Her uncle was an electrician and her aunt worked part-time at a local plant nursery. They seemed like very organized, monotonous people who enjoyed order and quiet. Man were they in for a rude awakening. 

Jamie looked over at her little brother, who was literally bouncing up and down with excitement in the front yard. “Can you believe we get to have our own rooms!” He exclaimed. She couldn’t help but laugh at him. He was genuinely her favorite person in the world, annoying as he was. He was all she had in the world and she would go anywhere if it meant giving him a better life. 

“Thank Jesus, won’t have to smell your rank farts all night now,” she said.

Mikey broke into genuine laughter, the way boys do whenever you mention anything remotely related to bathroom humor. 

She had never had her own room before, their house was only a two-bedroom and she had always had to share with Mikey and her older brother, Denny, when he was at home. It only took seventeen years, but maybe she would finally have some damn privacy. 

Her aunt had shown them to their bedrooms, and Jamie was surprised to find hers was equipped with a queen size bed, a dresser, a bookcase full of large, hardcover books, and a desk. She inhaled, in disbelief that such a room could be hers and hers alone. 

“It’s great,” she had said. “Thank you.”

Jamie took a moment to get settled in and put her things away. She hadn’t had a lot to bring, mostly some clothes and some favorite books. She wished she could have brought her plants but her aunt had a decent sized garden in the backyard that she could see outside of her back bedroom window. There was another window on the side wall of her room that had blue lined curtains. Jamie opened the curtains and looked outside at the beautiful fall day. Then she stopped short. There, in the window of the house directly across from her was a blonde girl, about her age. She was looking at herself in a full-length mirror, brushing her golden hair that fell perfectly down her back. Jamie wasn’t sure she had ever seen someone so pretty in her life. 

Shite, Jamie groaned as she closed the curtains. There was only so creepy she was willing to be and spying on a girl when she didn’t know crossed some sick boundaries. 

Her aunt was ordering pizza for dinner, a perfectly American thing to do. While they waited for it to be delivered, they turned on Wheel of Fortune, which was apparently part of their nightly schedule. Jamie took this opportunity to sneak out for a drag. She wasn’t sure how her aunt and uncle felt about smoking, but she didn’t want to find out by asking politely. 

She inhaled a breath of fresh air as she stepped outside the back door and slid along the side of the house until she was out of sight of any windows. She pulled a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it, letting the smoke inhale into her lungs and relaxing. Looking up at the sky, Jamie noticed there were so many less stars visible here than there had been at home. It was technically the same sky, but it looked so different. 

There was a noise and Jamie looked over to see the same blonde girl from earlier leave her front door. The girl looked around the neighborhood before spotting Jamie, who was looking directly at her. Well damn, Jamie thought. She might as well lean into the fact that she was staring. 

When the blonde walked over, uneasy but kind, and introduced herself as Dani, Jamie nearly lost it. She had made a promise to herself before leaving England that she would stay away from pretty girls. The kind that used you like a puppet and then inevitably got bored. They had gotten her into enough trouble and she couldn’t afford to let it happen again. 

But then she had made Dani laugh, even just a little chuckle and butterflies exploded in her stomach. She had never felt such an immediate attraction for anyone before. 

Then the ball dropped, as it always did. A tall and lanky man with shaggy hair and round glasses had walked over, putting his arms around Dani, calling her babe. She noticed the way Dani shrank slightly, like she was trying to inch away from his touch. Jamie felt the walls build up between them. This wasn’t her problem and she didn’t know Dani, not really. So she watched them walk away, put out her cigarette, and went inside to see what the fucking phrase was on Wheel of Fortune.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani finds herself having to defend Jamie on Jamie’s first day of school.

Jamie didn’t think it was quite fair that she only had two days to get used to American time before she was expected to sit through her first full week of school. Monday morning came dreadfully early for Jamie, who had slept half of Sunday and been up most of the night before. A six hour time difference wasn’t nothing and she felt a bit dazed as she tried to determine what she was going to wear for her first day. She had never been fashionable, that much was obvious. But American fashion was so much more bright, colorful, and showy than she was used to. It’s not that she wanted to fit in, necessarily, but she also didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. She already pictured the hoard of teenagers gawking and imitating her northern British accent. The talking alone was going to be like putting a sign on her forehead that read “I don’t belong here”. 

She looked through the small amount of clothes she owned and brought with her. Not only were they not very “American” but they sure weren’t expensive. Everything she owned came from second hand shops. Eventually she settled on a white shirt, tucked into her nicest blue jeans, with a plaid shirt layered on top. Fuck it, Jamie thought as she grabbed her backpack and headed downstairs. 

Mikey was sitting at the table, lazily bringing cereal to his mouth with his eyes half open. She sat at the table next to him and gave his shoulder a gentle bump. Mikey stuck his tongue out at her in jest, half chewed cereal on the tip. 

“Nasty,” Jamie said as she reached for a banana in the middle of the table. 

“Alright, you lot ready for your first day of school?” Her aunt asked as she drank her tea at the kitchen counter. “We’ve got to leave in about ten.”

Jamie downed her banana and a cup of tea before taking the front seat of her aunt’s Volkswagen. The high school was only a five minute drive from her aunt’s house. It sat on a large plot of land, the towering high school on the right and the smaller middle school, where Mikey was heading, on the left. 

“Want me to walk you in?” Jamie asked her brother as they both got out of the car in the carpool lane. 

“I’m fine, the office is right in the front they said.” She pulled him in for a hug, more for herself than for him she could tell. He was shaking with pure nervous excitement. Jamie wasn’t sure she had ever felt so young and optimistic, even at Mikey’s age. She was happy she was able to provide that for her brother. He didn’t need to grow up any faster than other kids because she had always cared for him. 

She watched him walk towards the middle school with so much confidence it made her smile. Then she turned to the high school where hoards of teenagers were mingling around, laughing, flirting, doing whatever they could to walk in at the last minute. Jamie made her way up the front stairs, not a single person paying her any mind. 

The front office was directly on the right. Jamie pushed open the door where she was greeted by a middle-aged woman behind a desk with a bright smile, as though she had been sitting there waiting for Jamie to walk through the door. 

“You must be Jamie.” When Jamie nodded the woman said “Welcome to America and welcome to Atherton High School.” 

“Cheers,” Jamie said and the woman smiled. 

“Oh the kids are going to love your accent! How charming!”

Jamie made a mental note to do as little talking as possible for the time being. She didn’t love attention and was not going to be the next circus act at this school. 

The cheery secretary, who introduced herself as Mrs. Caswell, took Jamie through her schedule. By the time they were done, she heard a loud bell ring overhead. “That’s the bell that indicates classes are starting and students should be in their homeroom.” Mrs. Caswell opened the office door to a mostly empty hallway, a few stragglers running towards closing doors. 

“Now that the hallway is clear, I will show you around to where your classes and homeroom are. Follow me.” 

The high school was three floors in the shape of a “U” with the gym on one end and the cafeteria on the other. Not too hard to remember or keep track of. Mrs. Caswell stopped outside a closed door on the second floor. “This is your homeroom. You come here for the first twenty minutes every morning where you will get morning announcements before switching classes for the rest of the day.” She looked at her watch. “You have about five minutes left before the next bell rings. You then have five minutes to get to your next classroom.”

She took a few steps down the hall to a row of lockers. “Your locker is outside your homeroom. This one is yours,” she said, pointing to one with the number 294 on the outside. “Here is your combination and your list of classrooms, as well as a map of the school.” Mrs. Caswell handed her the pile of papers in her hand. 

“Any questions?” She asked, clapping her hands together. 

How soon can I get the hell out of here? Jamie thought but shook her head. 

“Splendid. Well why don’t you head into your homeroom so you can meet your new friends?” She gave Jamie a slight squeeze on her shoulder, as if to tell her not to be nervous and watched expectantly for Jamie to open the door and walk in. 

Jamie took a deep breath before opening the door and finding twenty pairs of eyes staring at her. She looked into the crowd of faces, hoping to see familiar blue eyes and blonde hair. Dani, unfortunately, was nowhere to be found. Her eyes did stop on a pair of round glasses and she sighed. Of fucking course, the boyfriend. 

The morning went by with Jamie only getting lost twice yet she was able to make it to her classes before the bell rang. She tried to slip into the back of each class before the teacher made her introduce herself; to blend in as if she had been there all along. It worked in her first class, Algebra II, but in her second class the teacher still made her stand up and tell the class three “fun facts” about her. She could feel the entire class staring at her, eyes lit up as she started talking. What was it with Americans and accents? 

She had managed to go without making small talk with anyone for two classes and had one more to go before lunch. Walking down the hall to her third class, she finally spotted the dark blue eyes and rosy cheeks she had been thinking about all weekend, against her better judgement. Dani walked right up to her, a large smile pasted on her face.

“There you are, Jamie, I was hoping to run into you today!” 

Standing next to Dani was another girl, long dark hair in a braid down her back. “This is my friend, Rebecca,” Dani said. Rebecca gave Jamie a bright smile and stuck her hand out for Jamie to shake. 

“Pleasure,” Jamie said. 

“What class are you headed to?” Dani asked.

“World history.”

“Oh man, we’re headed to English class. Do you have home economics fourth period?” Dani asked.

Jamie looked down at her schedule. “Uh, yea, seems so. Not even sure what that means if I’m being honest.” 

“Just a bunny class they make all the girls take,” Dani said, rolling her eyes. “We’ll see you there!” Dani threaded her arm through Rebeccas and the two walked off. Jamie turned and watched them walk off, wishing it was her arm threaded with Dani’s, wishing she was the one making Dani throw her head back in laughter. Jamie shook her head, as if to banish the image from her head. When will she learn that these crushes only end up in heartache and trouble? How many times until she learned her lesson?   
———   
Dani spent most of Monday morning looking out for Jamie, hoping to sneak a peek of the brunette outside her school, in the hallway, in her classes. When she finally caught sight of Jamie walking down the hall, her head slightly bent as if she was trying not to be noticed, Dani’s cheeks flushed with color. She had to keep herself from actually skipping up to Jamie, willing herself to take each stride at a normal pace. When Jamie saw her, she had looked up at her with actual relief in her green eyes. As if, for that moment, she was able to take a deep breath from the world of chaos she was living in. 

The last thing Dani wanted to do was walk away from Jamie so quickly. She had wanted to stay in that hallway with Jamie for hours, letting Jamie feel safe from the outside world for as long as she could. But Dani only had two more minutes to get to class before she was going to be late so she had to go.

Her mind, however, stayed in the hallway a bit longer. She was tuned out the entire English class thinking of Jamie. She was so intrigued by Jamie’s rough exterior, yet obviously soft core. She wanted to peel back every layer until she knew Jamie inside and out. Had she ever felt this way about Eddie? She couldn’t remember a time where she didn’t know everything about him. She knew his favorite color, she knew when he needed to be alone and when he needed her by his side, she knew his favorite sports teams, and what he wanted to be when he grew up. There was no mystery anymore, no intrigue. She could barely remember a time he had not been in her life. 

Every part of her life revolved around Eddie. She spent more time at his house than her own. Sometimes his mother felt more like a mother than hers did. But did complacency and familiarity equal happiness? Dani wasn’t so sure anymore. 

After English it was time for lunch and Dani waited outside her locker as she always did for Eddie, Rebecca, and Peter to meet up and head to the cafeteria together. She was waiting in line when she noticed Jamie paying for her food at the register. Jamie didn’t even hesitate, didn’t even look around to see where she might sit, or who she might sit with. She just walked to an empty table and took a seat, as if daring someone to come and sit next to her.

“Oh, it’s your new friend,” Eddie said, following her gaze and landing on Jamie. 

“I think we should sit with her,” Dani said. “She doesn’t know anyone else.”

“Yea, seems like a barrel of laughs,” Peter chimed in. “Doesn’t look to me like she wants anyone to join.”

“Everyone wants friends, Peter,” Dani said, gritting her teeth. She paid for lunch and made her way to Jamie’s table. 

“Mind if we sit here?” She asked.

Jamie looked up, surprised to see her standing there. She looked past Dani to where the rest of the group was standing, tray in hands. Jamie nodded towards the table. Dani took the seat across from her, Eddie sliding in next to her. Peter took the seat next to Jamie with Rebecca on his side. 

“The food here isn’t the best,” Dani said as she looked down at her tray of turkey, mashed potatoes, and peas. 

“Bet you’re used to eating tea and biscuits for lunch every day,” Peter laughed. 

Dani could see Jamie’s hand tense up around her fork. Rebecca was the only one who laughed, as she always did. Dani couldn’t stand the way Peter changed her best friend from a kind and ambitious woman to someone who lived only to please her boyfriend. 

“Don’t be a dick, Peter,” Dani said.

“No, ‘tis alright,” Jamie said. “‘Tis wrong, though, it’s fish and chips we have everyday. Only get biscuits on the weekends if we’re good.” She gave Dani a small wink to which Dani chuckled. Jamie was quick-witted, always on the defense it seemed. 

Eddie, oblivious as always, chimed in with “Aren’t biscuits like actually cookies in England?”

No one even answered. Dani could see Peter gritting his teeth, knowing he hated to be one-upped by a woman. “So I heard you got kicked out of your old school,” he said, staring Jamie straight in the eyes, as if daring her to make him look stupid again. “Just curious what you did for that. Must have been pretty bad.”

Dani’s jaw almost dropped to the table. Was there any limit to the level of asshole that Peter possessed? Dani gazed at Jamie, her eyes saying I have nothing to do with this dick, I swear. 

Even Rebecca gave Peter a small pat on the shoulder for this one. “Seriously, Peter?” 

“What? I’m just trying to get to know our new friend,” he shrugged, acting as if no one could tell he was being an asshole on purpose.

Jamie shook her head. “Punched out some prat who didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.” She scooted her chair back from the table. “This has been fun, but if you lot will excuse me, I need to find my next class before the bell rings.”

Dani felt as if she was going to burst into flames from embarrassment. How could her friends be so rude? How could a kind gesture for Jamie turn into a nightmare scenario? She glared at Rebecca, who seemed to shrink into her chair. Peter looked half shocked, half triumphant, not quite sure if he had won by making Jamie leave the table.

“Nice guys,” Dani said as she pushed her chair out from the table and followed Jamie to the trash cans, where she was scraping off her tray.

“I am so sorry,” Dani said when she caught up to the brunette. “I don’t know what to say. Peter, he, well, he’s a dick and I’m not going to pretend not. He’s, um, he’s Rebecca’s new boyfriend and I just kind of have to tolerate him... for now I hope. I didn’t know he would be so, so, macho. He’s obviously threatened and-“ Dani realized she was talking a mile a minute. 

Jamie put a reassuring hand on Dani’s shoulder and Dani felt a bolt of electricity shoot down to her stomach. “Chill, Dani, it’s fine. We had assholes back in England, too, believe it or not.”

“It, it’s not fine, Jamie. I’m sure you’re nervous enough, your first day and all, and I swear I didn’t mean to make it worse. I was, well, I was trying to help actually. I’m not always good at it.”

“I know you didn’t mean it. And I don’t want you apologizin’ on behalf of prats.”

Dani nodded, relieved. She was half convinced Jamie would never speak to her again after what had happened. Her eyes trailed to the hand that was still resting lightly on her shoulder. Jamie seemed to realize it was still there and jumped back. 

“Well, want me to walk you to home economics?” Dani asked. 

“Only if you tell me what the hell that class entails on the way.”  
———  
After school, Dani sat on the edge of her bed, steadily painting her fingernails while Rebecca sat against the wall reading a magazine. Monday afternoons were their time to hang out, as that’s when the boys had debate team practice and she could actually steal her best friend away from Peter for more than five minutes. Dani watched her best friend as she furrowed her brows, concentrating on learning about the latest fashion trends. Rebecca hadn’t cared about that stuff six months ago. She had always been pretty, naturally so, and effortlessly. The kind of person who just put herself together with very little thought and still looked as though she tried for hours. Now Rebecca did try for hours. She fretted over her hair and the right lipstick color. She cried over clothes she thought looked bad on her perfectly thin frame. Dani had no idea what happened to her carefree, beautiful friend. Scratch that, she knew what happened to her. Peter Quint happened to her.

The same Peter fucking Quint who was so self-consciously messing with Jamie just hours before. Who was so threatened by Jamie’s alpha vibe that he had to knock her down before everyone found out he was a fraud. He made Dani sick. He was truly everything she hated in a man and, although she tried literally every day, she could not understand what Rebecca saw in him.

Did Rebecca ever see what she saw in Eddie? What was it she saw in Eddie, at this point? Whenever Dani looked at Eddie she saw her past, nearly ten years of memories, laughs, sleepovers, and tears. But did Dani see her future in Eddie? She was less and less sure with each passing day. 

“Do you think I can pull off pink?” Rebecca asked, looking up from her magazine. “I’m just not sure I have the skin complexion for it, but it’s going to be really in this spring. You, of course, look amazing in pink, but I’m just not sure it suits me. What do you think? I want to get a pink dress for junior prom, but Peter might not like the color on me.”

Who cares what he thinks? Dani wanted to say. She knew Rebecca would get offended, take it personally, say doesn’t Dani care what Eddie thinks? Did Dani really care what Eddie thinks? “I think you look good in everything,” Dani said. “As long as you like it, that’s what matters.”  
Rebecca huffed, “If only,” and returned to her magazine. 

Dani peered outside her bedroom window and noticed a tiny head in her neighbors backyard, a body bent down and digging in the earth. She noticed the messy, curly ponytail, strands falling out of the side and into Jamie’s face. Does she like to garden? Dani wondered. Or is this part of her chores? Is it a punishment from her aunt? 

Dani turned back to Rebecca. “What, do you think, I mean, what was up with Peter today?” Dani asked cautiously. She didn’t want to set Rebecca off, but she also needed Rebecca to know that Peter’s behavior was not cool.

“What do you mean?” Rebecca asked dumbly.

“I mean at lunch. Why was he so aggressive with Jamie?”

Rebecca shrugged. “I didn’t notice. I mean, I think he was just trying to be funny.”

“He was trying to embarrass her on her first day at a new school.” Dani could feel her cheeks getting flushed. She hated confrontation, she couldn’t even believe she was bringing this up. Unconsciously she brought her right thumb to her mouth and started biting her nail.   
Rebecca closed her magazine. “I think you all just took it the wrong way. Peter doesn’t even know Jamie, why would he be mean to her on purpose?”

Because he sucks, Dani wanted to say. 

“And besides,” Rebecca went on, “I didn’t see Eddie jumping to Jamie’s defense. That was only you. I think you’re the only one who took it that way.”

Dani couldn’t believe that Rebecca was so under Peter’s spell that she couldn’t even see his faults anymore. 

“He made her leave the table,” Dani said. “She couldn’t even stand to sit with us anymore.”

“Why do you care so much?” Rebecca asked. “It’s not like we all have a ton in common. I think there are other kids at the school that are more suited to be her friend.”

“I just, I think she’s interesting, and she’s funny. And she certainly doesn’t deserve some asshole coming at her for no reason,” Dani said. It wasn’t until she saw Rebecca’s face go cold that she knew she crossed a line.

“So now my boyfriend’s an asshole? Because he made one pathetic joke?”

“He’s an asshole most of the time,” Dani said before she could stop herself. She didn’t know where she was getting this courage from. She had never been so upfront about Peter to anyone. 

Rebecca slammed the magazine down on Dani’s bed before jumping off. She grabbed her backpack and slid her shoes back on. “I should get going,” she said, her eyes on the floor. “Peter will be back from practice in a few minutes and he likes me to be by the phone when he calls.”  
Dani took a deep breath. She knew she had hurt her friend, and maybe she had taken it too far. But someone needed to, right? That’s what friends did? 

“Rebecca, I…” her voice trailed off. She didn’t want to apologize because she wasn’t sorry for what she said, only with how it made her friend feel. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Rebecca said before storming out of Dani’s room, not even turning around to make eye contact as she left. 

Dani huffed and bit harder on her nails. It needed to be said, it needed to be done. Dani could not excuse Peter’s behavior forever, even if Rebecca could. 

Dani looked outside her window again. Jamie’s little brother was outside in the backyard with Jamie now. He was kicking a soccer ball around on his own. Dani watched as Jamie got up quickly while her brother’s back was turned and before he could see it coming, Jamie kicked the ball away from him, practically making him slip. The boy grinned as he caught himself and immediately chased after his sister. He dove to the ground behind Jamie, grabbing the back of her calves and making her tumble to the grass. Dani thought maybe Jamie would yell at her brother for being rough, for taking a silly game too far. But to Dani’s surprise she saw Jamie’s face turn into a huge smile, laughter spilling from her lips. She then began tickling her brother, who kicked and laughed, and tried to roll away from her in the grass. Dani couldn’t take her eyes away. She had never had siblings, she had never truly understood the bond between brother and sister. All she knew was that Jamie never looked freer than she saw her in that small moment with her little brother, rolling in the grass, tickling, teasing, tackling. 

Jamie is not the one who is wrong, Dani thought. It’s everyone else who is wrong about her.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani is there for Jamie and then Jamie, in return, is there for Dani when she needs it.

Chapter Three

The following morning, Jamie was heading to her locker before homeroom when she spotted a familiar blonde ponytail three lockers down. Dani was talking to Eddie, her head down, voice low. It seemed a little tense. Jamie pretended not to notice, pretended to be extremely interested in her mostly empty locker as she groped at the bottom for her textbooks. When she closed her locker, she almost jumped in surprise when she found Dani standing next to her, an award winning smile on her face. 

“Jamie!” She said. “Eddie told me you were in his homeroom. Lucky him!” 

Jamie felt herself melting into a puddle before Dani, her body less tense than before, even a small smile creeping onto her face. How did Dani do that? How did she make Jamie feel as if no one had ever been so important as her? Dani had friends, she had a boyfriend, she had everything. And yet, she still made time for Jamie, to go out of her way to be nice to her, to make her feel welcome. Jamie had never experienced this level of kindness, not without wanting something in return. She wasn’t sure what Dani’s angle was, but Dani was making it harder and harder for Jamie to keep her walls up.

“It’s just a barrel of laughs in there,” Jamie said. “You’re really missing out.”

Dani chuckled. “You are too much sometimes.”

“That’s why I’m in this great country, isn’t it? Too much to handle.”

Dani’s smile suddenly went slack, her cheeks flushed. “Jamie...I...I didn’t mean it like that.”

Shit, Jamie thought. Shit, shit, too far.

“I was just having a laugh, Dani, really. I know you didn’t mean it like that. Bad joke, I’m sorry.”

Dani’s blue eyes flooded with relief. She fiddled with her hands, something Jamie noticed she did a lot. Suddenly Jamie felt a strong urge to reach out and take Dani’s hands into her own, to ground her to this spot, to make her know she was okay. 

“Well, uh, well what do you think about lunch today? Just with Eddie and I. No Rebecca and Peter this time, I promise.”

“I can’t ask you to ditch your friends for me,” Jamie said.

“They’re not gonna join… either way.”

Jamie raised her eyebrows in curiosity. Dani didn’t offer further information and she didn’t want to push. “Then I would love to.” 

“See you then,” Dani said, her voice a promise, as she began to walk down the hall. Jamie turned to her locker and tried to hide the grin on her face. 

The morning went by similar to the one before. Jamie had never been that great at school, but she had never been bad at it either. College wasn’t something she planned on or thought about, really. In America or back home, Jamie knew she wasn’t built for it. She enjoyed spending her time outside more than inside, and the thought of spending another four years sitting in classroom after classroom made her skin crawl. It was hard enough to know she had another year and a half until graduation. 

She sat silently in the back of every classroom, scribbling notes and doodles into her notebook, pretending to be interested in the words in her textbook. She wasn’t much interested in making more friends. She didn’t like crowds and Dani...well Dani was enough for her. She did notice the occasional glance back at her, mostly from a couple of random pretty girls. Jamie was used to this. It happened at her old school, too. The girls who found Jamie intriguing. How she didn’t conform to beauty standards, how she word flannels and overalls more than skirts and jumpers. There were plenty of girls who had secret thoughts, a secret curiosity that they always kept to themselves. That is, until their curiosity got the best of them and they found the courage to come up to Jamie, to admit their secrets, to say “just one time, I want to know what it’s like one time. To get it out of my system.” And Jamie always let them because, well, it felt good to lose herself in them. It felt good to be good at something, to be wanted by someone, even if just for an hour or two. Jamie wasn’t used to being noticed otherwise. 

But Dani noticed her. She noticed her in a way that felt warm and natural and had nothing to do with Jamie’s looks or persona, but everything to do with Jamie herself. Like she would never get tired of learning about Jamie. Jamie shook her head thinking, How could I feel this way about someone I’ve bloody known for four days? 

Lunch finally came and Jamie searched through a sea of young faces in the cafeteria until her eyes landed on Dani and Eddie, sitting next to one another at a mostly empty table. Jamie set her tray on the table and took a seat across from Dani. 

“Hi there,” Dani said. “How was your morning?”

“Still figuring out how school works here. I mean, it’s mostly the same, just small differences. I guess school is school when you get down to it.”

“Got a favorite subject?” Dani asked.

“Nah, maybe English if I had to pick. I do like to read. But mostly I like gardening, which is not something to learn in the classroom.”

“That’s so great,” Dani said. “I’ve never been able to keep a plant alive.”

“That’s why her mom won’t get her a dog,” Eddie laughed. “You can’t even keep a plant alive, is what she said when Dani asked.”

Dani shoved her elbow against him playfully. “That was when I was, like, ten. I haven’t asked for a dog in years.”

Jamie didn’t love watching Dani be playful and carefree with someone else. Of course, she knew that was insane. Of course Dani enjoyed being around her boyfriend. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a little jealousy bubble up in her stomach. 

“What about you lot? Favorite subject?”

“I like government this semester,” Eddie said. “It’s been interesting. It’s also why I’m on debate, I plan to go to law school someday.”

“Whew, that’s a tall order,” Jamie said. “Must be a hard worker.”

“Eddie is a great student,” Dani said. 

“I just like to meet my goals is all,” Eddie said. “I plan to provide for us one day. Danielle won’t have to work a day in her life if she doesn’t want to.” 

How fucking condescending, Jamie thought. Did this man know that Dani was more than just a prize whose job it was to take care of him?   
She looked at Dani, who was looking down at her tray, uncomfortably. 

“I’m sure your missus has bigger plans than staying home all day,” Jamie said. Someone had to put this prat in his place.

“Well, yes, of course,” Eddie said, in a way that wasn’t quite convincing. “I just mean, when we have kids, and she can be home with them. Raise them like my mom did with my brothers and I.”

“Getting a little ahead of yourself there, mate,” Jamie said. 

“Yes, maybe we should finish high school first, Eddie,” Dani chimed in. 

Eddie shrugged. 

Jamie couldn’t imagine how this is what Dani wanted. The promise of a life full of taking care of others. Eddie and a houseful of kids. She was seventeen, for crying out loud. Didn’t she know there was a world outside of Ohio?  
——-  
Dani had barely talked to Rebecca all week. Rebecca had taken to sitting with Peter and his friends at lunch and barely said hello to Dani in the hallways. She couldn’t believe that one little fight had lead to this. Of course, she blamed Peter. Rebecca would never be acting like this if it weren’t for him.

On Thursday after school she was sitting on her living room couch next to Eddie, who had his nose buried in a history textbook. Dani was scribbling notes into her chemistry notebook, trying to make sense of the symbols in front of her. 

“Have you talked to Peter?” She wondered aloud. “I haven’t, well, Rebecca hasn’t said a word to me in days.”

Eddie shrugged. “Yea, I’ve talked to him a bit.”

“What did he say?”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked.

Ugh, boys were so useless. Could they follow anything? 

“About Rebecca? About me?”

“Why would we talk about that?” Eddie asked. “That’s your business, not ours. I still don’t fully understand what happened.”

“Well, I just thought, since the fight was about Peter. And how he’s always, just, controlling Rebecca. And she goes along with whatever she says. Even when he’s being an asshole.”

Eddie closed his book and put it on the table. “I mean, sometimes he’s a bit...brash. But I haven’t noticed anything of concern.”

“You, you haven’t noticed how much she’s changed? Since being with him?”

“Haven’t really thought about it. It’s nice to have another couple around. We’ve always been the couple but it’s nice to have another.”

Eddie never could see anything he didn’t want to see, even when it was right in front of his face. 

“Yea,” Dani said, “Maybe I went a bit too...far.”

“I’m sure all she wants is an apology and everything will be fine,” he said, proud of himself. He leaned over and kissed her, a slight,   
wholesome kiss. He looked around the corner.

“Where’s your mom?” He wondered. 

Dani shrugged. “Who can keep track. I think tonight she is at some dinner club with her friends. She told me not to wait up.”

“Perfect,” Eddie smiled, as he leaned in for another kiss. He pulled her in closer, his tongue sliding against her lips. She opened her mouth, deepening the kiss. His hands climbed from her waist underneath her shirt to rest over the cloth of her bra. 

Dani wasn’t sure how this was supposed to feel, making out with Eddie. After all, he was the only one she had ever done it with. It wasn’t necessarily that she didn’t like it, it was just that it didn’t feel like it should. Other girls talked of the want, the need to go further. Dani had never felt that. She never wanted to go faster or further. Most people at their school would be surprised to know that Dani and Eddie had never had sex, despite the fact they had been together for nearly a decade. Dani just couldn’t bring herself to take that final step. It seemed too...permanent. Like if she gave this last part of her to Eddie, she would no longer be herself, but fully his.

Before Dani knew it, Eddie had her shirt off and then her bra. His shirt was off, too. This was fine, Dani didn’t mind the feeling of her skin on his. It even felt good, Eddie’s capable hands touching parts of her body that made her squirm. 

His hands were on her waist as he laid her back onto the couch. Her jeans were off and then his were, too. This was the part where it usually happened. Where Dani’s heart began to race. Her mind was telling her to stop, that something about this wasn’t right. That she couldn’t give Eddie what he wanted. And then her underwear was off. Suddenly she was self-conscious, even though this wasn’t the first time she had been naked in front of Eddie. She tried to keep it to a minimum, insisting they spend most of their time at his house, where his mom made them keep the bedroom door open at all times. 

It didn’t feel like Eddie paid much attention to Dani’s body. He didn’t take the time to sit back and take her in. It was like he only cared about her body enough because it was his ticket to feeling good, to feeling safe. It was his ticket to knowing Dani was his.  
But she wasn’t his. She didn’t want to be.

Suddenly Dani felt the familiar first twinge of panic in her fingers. Eddie’s boxers were off, too. Her vision started to blur, her breath becoming ragged, erratic. She knew that Eddie took it for pleasure, but that wasn’t the case. Dani felt like she needed to run, she needed to get off that couch and out of the house to where she could breathe. 

“Eddie, stop...stop!” She said, almost screamed. Her eyes were wild. She pushed him off her and he half fell to the floor.

“Danielle, what, what the hell,” he said. 

“I...I’m sorry,” she said, trying to catch her breath. “I just, I’m not ready, I told you this, Eddie.”

“I’ve been patient, Danielle. More than patient, I think. But what are we waiting for? It’s been years,” he said.

Dani couldn’t think. Her mind was running, her body wanting to join. It told her to run out of the room. She started to grab her clothes, putting them back on. 

“I just, I don’t know Eddie. I just know I’m not ready. Can’t that be enough?”

Her hands shook as she pulled her underwear on and then her jeans. She could barely finish the button. Eddie had joined in the dressing at this point.

He shook his head. “I just feel like you won’t really know, until we try. How do you know you’re not ready for something you haven’t done?”

“I cant, I can’t explain it right now. I just, I need some fresh air.” She was pulling her sweater back on now then her socks.

“Okay, I’ll just go home. My mom probably has dinner ready anyway. I’ll give you some space.” He was gathering his books and putting them into his backpack. 

“I know it should be more special, maybe that will help. I’ll, I’ll try to think of something that will make it special for you,” he said as he walked out of the door. Dani couldn’t even answer, she couldn’t believe how little he listened to her. Had she even been talking at all? 

When the door closed behind him, Dani suddenly felt able to run. She ran to the back of the house and opened the sliding door, letting the crisp fall air hit her skin. Her breath was still ragged, she willed herself to take a few deep breaths. Tears stung her eyes as she sat on a stone step, her head in her hands. Her body was still shaking, her mind racing. She felt restless and stood back up, pacing up and down the stone path in her backyard. And then she was crying, deep sobs that had been buried inside. She didn’t even know they were there. 

There was a noise, a wrestling of shoes crunching leaves and Dani held her breath. If it was her mom, she didn’t want to explain. And if it was a murderer, well, maybe at this point that didn’t seem so bad.

The lock on her gate was opening, and she turned around to find Jamie standing on the other side. Dani quickly turned away, not wanting Jamie to see her in this state.

“Sorry to intrude, I was just, I was outside and I heard ya, well crying and I thought I’d come check…”

“I’m...I’m fine,” Dani said, using her arms to rub her eyes free of tears, her back still turned to Jamie. 

“Now that’s just a blatant lie,” Jamie said. “Thought we didn’t lie to one another.”

I lie to everyone, Dani thought. Including myself. I lie so much I don’t even know what’s real and what’s not anymore. 

Jamie made her way over to Dani until Dani could feel Jamie’s breath on the back of her neck. She shivered. Jamie gently grabbed Dani’s shoulder and guided her down to sit on the step next to her. She didn’t make Dani look at her or talk. She just sat next to Dani, giving her a minute to slow her breaths, to calm her shaking body. 

When Dani finally had collected herself enough to speak she said, “I, sometimes, I panic. I feel...out of control. I have a hard time catching my breath.”

Jamie nodded. “Nothin’ to be ashamed of. We all feel a little out of control now and again. Some people are just better at keeping it in than others. You...wanna talk about it?”

When Dani didn’t answer Jamie said, “So what’s your answer?”

When Dani looked at her confused she finished, “to the question from lunch. I answered and Eddie answered, but you never did. Never got a chance with Eddie spouting off your fairytale future. But what do you like? What do you want to do?”

Dani wanted to cry again. Because no one had ever asked her that. Because no one had shown this must interest in her in years. Because everyone else had planned Dani’s life without her permission and no one even asked. 

“I...I don’t know,” Dani said. “I mean, I haven’t thought much about it.” 

“Better start thinking about it,” Jamie said, “You’ve got a lot of life left to live after high school. Unless it is truly your fantasy to be a wife and a mother only.” 

She didn’t say this in an accusing way, or even one where Dani felt judged. She said it in a way that told Dani, I know that isn’t what you want. I know you are better than belonging to a man for the rest of your life. 

“How do you just know?” Dani asked.

“Know what?”

“Know the right thing to say. Know what I’m thinking. How do you know me?” Dani wasn’t sure if anything she was saying made sense. After all, she was on the tail end of an epic panic attack and her mind still felt a little scrambled. 

“Dunno,” Jamie said. “I just, I try to pay attention. I try to listen.”

“You may be the only person I’ve ever met like that,” Dani said.

“I don’t do it for everyone,” Jamie said. “There’s very few I find worth my time and effort. But you, I mean, you’ve done nothing but make this transition easier for me. I feel like, well, it’s the least I can do.”

Dani looked over at Jamie for the first time, her blue eyes matching Jamie’s green. She felt seen, and heard, and a million other things she didn’t know how to put into words. Ever since she was eight, when her father died and her mother began slipping away a little at a time, Dani had felt alone. She had tried to fill that loneliness with Eddie, with his friendship, and his family. It had worked for a time but it never felt...right. Until now, in this moment, sitting outside with Jamie. It felt right, it felt like what Dani needed. And Dani didn’t feel alone. She felt like she had lived her whole life for this one moment. It made her want to cry all over again


End file.
